Monday, August 24, 2009

Getting Past a Break Up of Love or Friendship

The emotional pain that hits us when those who we trust the most offend, hurt or betray us is incredible, long-lasting and often builds into an obstacle that prevents us from moving forward in life. Sometimes, reconciliation spells don't work. Other times, it's just not meant to be. And occasionally you simply need to get past the pain of breaking up with a lover, a friend or a family member. Below are some workings you can do to move past the emotional pain of a break up.

Parting Ways Spell - After a Break Up
Too often, the emotional charge surrounding a break up will color the true experiences we had with someone. This can affect future relationships we have with people when we unjustly hold them accountable for the past actions of others. The purpose of this spell is to simply let go and allow your former friend or lover to follow their path in life, and to focus on the good things you shared, as well as purge the negative memories from your system. This is a healthy spell to do after a lover has broken up with you, or you've had to push a friend out of your life.

Supplies needed:
  • Blessing Oil
  • Van Van Oil
  • Lavender flowers
  • Salt
  • A photo of you
  • A photo of your former lover or friend
  • a lemon
  • a knife
  • a white figural candle representing you (of the appropriate gender)
  • a black figural candle representing your former lover or friend (of the appropriate gender)
Take your photo and write your name 7 times, turn the paper 1/4 turn clockwise and cross the block of your names with "I love and heal myself". "5-spot" your photo with Blessing oil by dabbing a bit on the four corners of the photo and one in the center. Put a pinch of lavender flowers on your photo, then fold the photo in half toward yourself. Turn it 1/4 turn clockwise and fold it in half again toward yourself. Repeat one more time for a total of three folds. Place this prepared name-paper aside.

Take the photo of your former lover or friend. Write their name out 7 times. Turn the paper 1/4 turn counter-clockwise, and cross the written block of text with "I release you from my life" 7 times. Dab some Van Van Oil on the photo in a "5-spot" pattern, saying "I cut ties with you and release you to the 4 corners of the earth. Your path leads you away from me, and you no longer hold any power over me, nor does any connection exist between us any longer!" Put a pinch of salt on the photo to gently cleanse their influence out of your life. Then fold the photo in half away from you. Turn it 1/4 turn counter-clockwise and fold it away from you once more. Repeat this one more time for a total of 3 folds. Set this aside.

Take the white figural candle that represents you and carve your name into it. On the other side of the candle write "Blessed and healed". Dress the candle with Blessing Oil, stroking the oil toward yourself to invoke blessings and healing into your life. Set this on your working surface, to the left of center on top of your prepared name-paper, facing toward the left. Now take the black figural candle and write your former lover's name on the candle. On the other side of the candle write "I cut ties with you". Dress this candle with Van Van Oil to cleanse away the negativity that this person brought into your life - stroke the oil away from you as you dress it. Place this candle to the right of center, on top of the name-paper for your ex, facing toward the right.

You should now have two candles, sitting atop their respective name-papers, facing away from one another. (Leave a little space between them - they should not be touching.)

Light your candle saying "May the light of God the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost bless me every day of my life. Heavenly Father burn away the bitterness of unkind words. May the tears that I've already shed cleanse away the pain and baptize me into a new life of peace, love and tranquility. Protect me, Lord. Guide me, and may my future be filled with blessings and love."

Light your ex-lover or friend's candle saying "I release you (person's name). Your fate leads you elsewhere, far away from here and out of my life. I cut ties with you. You no longer are a part of my life and I deliver you into the hands of God. May he do with you as He sees fit."

Now, using the knife, cut the lemon in half and say "With the cutting edge of this knife may the sour fruit that was born out of our relationship squeeze you out of my life forever! AMEN!" Now squeeze the lemon juice out of the fruit in the shape of a line that is drawn between the two figural candles - an impenetrable wall of clear-cutting power.

Finally, move the figural candles away from one another little by little over the course of the next hour being careful to not burn yourself. Make sure you move the name-papers too so they stay under the candles. When the candles are finally about a foot apart, let them burn all the way down. Take the remnants of your candle and name-paper and bury them in your backyard to keep the blessings in your life. Take the remnants of your ex-lover or ex-friend's candle and name-paper, and throw them into a river that runs out of town. As the water in that river flows out of your town, so shall that person flow out of your life.

Love Uncrossing Baths - to let go of pain and recover your self-esteem
After a love relationship has ended, there is a lot of emotional baggage that sticks around. One of the best things to do at that point is a series of Love Uncrossing baths. Love Uncrossing baths are unique in that they are luxuriating, soaking baths. The intent is to sit in the bath and allow the herbs to work their magic to drain the negative emotional charge from past relationship pains away from you, and at the same time, allow their energy to restore your sense of "lovability" and self-worth. I usually recommend a full regime of 13 baths in a row, but you can do fewer if you really apply yourself. Here's how they are done.

Supplies needed:
Start by taking the jumbo candle and cutting the tip off of it. Turn it upside down and carve a new tip out of the butt of the candle. On the black part of the candle carve "Release the pain". On the red part of the candle carve "I am lovable" or "I love again". Dress the candle with Love Uncrossing Oil, stroking away from yourself on the black part of the candle, and toward yourself on the red part of the candle. The same oil can be used for both parts because it is designed with both magical functions in mind. Set it in a candle holder and place it on the side of the tub where it won't catch anything on fire.

Draw a nice warm bath.

Boil some water. Fill up a large coffee cup with half a packet of Love Uncrossing Herb Bath blend. Pour the boiling water over the herbs and allow them to sit, releasing their essences into the water. Add a pinch of salt to the water. After about 10 min, take your coffee cup of herb infusion into the bathroom. Pour the herb concoction into the bath through the strainer in order to remove all herbs so that you're not marinating in potpourri while you bathe.

Disrobe, light your candle, and slip into the bath. As you lay in the bath, pray to God that your pain be taken away, that He help you release the suffering from the past, and that he illuminate your mind to see the wisdom that you did learn in that relationship. Do so in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Now, sit in that bath and contemplate your past relationship. Attempt to understand what you learned about yourself in that relationship. The trick to this really working is to remember that it is an exercise in self-forgiveness, forgiveness of the other party, and that it isn't about placing blame - it's about moving on. What were the good things you liked? Hold on to those. What were the bad things you didn't like, or that hurt? Let those dissipate into the bath water. Finally, finish up by focusing on your good qualities, what makes you a good lover and a good partner, as well as what you want to experience in your next relationship.

When you are done bathing, stand up in the bathtub, squeegee the excess water off of your body stroking from your head down to your feet and finish by crossing your arms across your chest, then quickly uncrossing them and flinging them open saying "reMOVE this condition from me!" Repeat that motion a total of three times.

Step out of the bath, collect a small cup of the used bath water and set it aside. Let the rest drain out of the tub. Towel off. (this is one of the few baths you can towel dry after - since the magical effect is done while soaking IN the water). Dress in clean clothes and take your cup of used bath water outside. Throw it to the west toward the setting sun (preferably into a crossroads) and walk away without looking back. When you return to your bathroom, pinch out the flame from the candle and reuse it next time you bathe. On the last bath, you should let it burn all the way down. You can also wear the Love Uncrossing Oil as a personal fragrance during the time when you are focusing on this work.

This is a good bath ceremony to do before doing major love drawing work to make sure you've addressed all of your relationship issues before jumping into something new.

Black Walnut Bath - to kill any emotions toward a person
Here is the ultimate relationship ending bath - the Black Walnut Bath. Black Walnuts will literally obliterate any emotions you have toward anyone. They put you back in a neutral emotional place which is really where you want to be once you've moved past a relationship.

Black Walnuts still in their fruit pods are traditionally used for this bath. The fruits have a very dark juice in them that will absolutely stain everything in sight, so this bath is done outdoors in a metal wash tub, not in your nice porcelain indoor tub. Black walnuts can be hard to come by, so you can use English or Persian walnuts instead (the kind you find in a grocery store). The problem is that they aren't as strong and don't have the husk on them, so you'll have to boil them for much longer to get a dark colored liquid in the end.

As an additional note, this bath is performed in the nude outdoors, so it's probably best to do this very late at night where no one will see you, in a rural area where you can walk to a crossroad and not be seen - unless you really don't mind people seeing you walking at night naked.

To prepare the bath:
On the dark moon, put 9 black walnuts, still in their husks in a large pot full of water (2-3 quarts). Bring them to a boil, and continue to cook them until the water is very dark (condensed down to about 1 quart). Remove the walnuts from the water, and add the dark fluid into a larger basin of bath-temperature water. Take the basin outside where you'll be performing your bath.

Outside, set up a large metal washtub on the ground. Light a black candle and set it near where you'll be taking your bath. Disrobe and stand inside the large metal washtub. Now pour the black walnut bath over your head. As you do so, recite a portion of Psalm 51: "Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow." then pray in your own words to release the bonds of your past relationship, obliterate the feelings in your heart and deliver you from the pain and strife of that past partnership. Do so in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, AMEN!

Squeegee the excess water off of your both working from your head down toward your feet, continuing to pray the 51st Psalm. Air dry.

Now, gather up a bit of the used bathwater and walk nude toward the nearest crossroad and throw that used bathwater into the crossroad over your left shoulder saying "AMEN!" and walk away without looking back. Return to where you bathed, dress in new clean clothes, dump the rest of your bath out on the earth, and gather your belongings and head home. You can continue to burn the black candle on your working surface at home.

You will no longer feel anything at all toward that person. Your emotions will be neutralized and you'll find peace in your heart from then onward.


Anonymous said...

Hi Dr. E,

I really love these entries. They really have everything to do with what I am going through now. A few questions came up though.

1. Is the Parting Ways spell kind of like a cut and clear? I see some elements similar but if you do this does it also chase the other person out of your life forever and break all spiritual ties with them permanently?

2. Uh oh... I've been doing your baths but not according to these new and I think, more appropriate instructions. I've been air drying between two white candles dressed with uncrossing oil and I haven't been adding the pinch of salt to the baths. Should I stop and order more supplies to do it according to these instructions? I can get a reversing candle here from a shop but of course the herb baths I can only get from you.

3. The black walnut spell does sound like the ultimate but must it be performed in the nude? Kind of hard to do in my city... so many people around all the time. What do you suggest or how would you do this? Also is there another good source to get black walnut other than lucky mojo? They only harvest these in september I was told and don't have anymore.

Thanks for the new entries. These really spoke to me. BTW I was just using your true love oil the other night to feed some things and I've got to say that out of all the condition oils I own this has got to be the most wonderful smelling oil of all. You could even market it as a commercial fragrance if you wanted to.

Dr. E. said...

Hello Kel! Regarding your questions:

1) The Parting Ways spell is indeed like a Cut and Clear but it's my own version of it. It cuts all ties with them permanently - just in a more gentle way than a hot foot or the like. Hot foot is a physical chasing away of the person. This spell is an emotional releasing of a person.

2) You've been doing your baths just fine. This is only another variation of how the herb bath blend can be used. And as you describe your process - it sounds beautiful, appropriate, powerful. Air drying is fine - and more traditional.

3) Black Walnut bath is indeed supposed to be done in the nude outdoors. You just need to find an isolated place way out in the countryside if you're concerned about being seen. Trust me, I'm in the middle of the Los Angeles greater metropolitan area - I don't have a place to do it either. I'd have to drive a few hours up into the mountains to do it. Just consider it part of the energy and effort you put into it. Or, do it in the city unabashedly naked - and consider that effort the sacrifice that makes the spell that much more powerful. Black walnuts are indeed hard to come by - that's why you can use Persian or English walnuts too. They are available in most grocery stores. Just make sure they are in their shells.

(side note) These spells were posted because they are SO VERY APPLICABLE to my life right now too. It seems like the energy of fall is already upon us (even in the warmer areas of the country) and we're all shedding off friendships and relationships like the trees dropping their leaves from the last year.

Anonymous said...

Hi Dr. E,

Another great post, but I have a question regarding 'Love Uncrossing'. Whenever I see a Love Uncrossing product, I generally tend to think its use is to uncross a loving relationship that have been crossed by another. The loving relationship has been crossed, so one would use a 'Love Uncrossing' product. Is this another way to use your Love Uncrossing products or no?

Blessed be!
Huforest (Huu)

Dr. E. said...


You are correct. Love Uncrossing products can also be used to undo any crossing work or curses done against a relationship. It also works in moving past emotional pains and self-imposed crossed conditions through negative patterns and negative thinking. It's a very complex and useful blend.

britpope357 said...

During what moon phase would you perform a walnut bath or a cut and clear spell?

Dr. E. said...

Waning moon