Tuesday, December 15, 2009

'Tis The Season ... To Be Trickin'!

You never thought you'd be saying "trick or treat" around Christmas time, but this is the best season to hit people with some hoodoo when they least expect it. Does this make me hard-hearted and a grinch? No, but I am a very practical rootworker, and I understand that people who are stressed out and have their guards down are easy targets for magic. 'Tis the season, indeed!

Holiday Cards Laced with Powders
This idea actually came about when working on a case for a client. He is faced with a hostile work environment where his job has been given to another guy in the office, his coworkers are a bunch of gossips and his boss is weak-minded and unwilling to give him back his job (even though the replacement is completely incompetent.) The premise is simple; use magical powders to affect everyone in the office by tricking holiday cards and giving them to people.

For the guy that took his job - a Merry Christmas card dusted with Hot Foot Powder. He opened the card, touched the paper and got the magical hit - then he promptly hung the card up in his cubicle. Jackpot!

For the gossiping coworkers matching Happy Holidays cards each dusted with STFU! Powder to stop their gossip and protect him from their nasty rumor spreading. Some took the cards home (where they sit as time-release protective amulets affecting them as they rest in the comfort of their homes). Others put the up outside their cubicles, affecting the entire atmosphere in the office. No more gossip, and that's a good thing.

For the boss, a Happy New Year card with warm wishes for the year to come - laced with Boss Fix Powder. He propped the card up on his desk where everyone could see it, and where he could be affected all day long to work in accordance with my client's will, for his best interest, and to stay out of his personal space when working.

Holiday Treats with Irresistible Magical Power
Christmas cookies and other holiday treats are a great way to affect others - be it your coworkers, your neighbors, family members or a love interest. Simply mix in the magical affects into the frosting on those cookies, or into the batter itself!

To make that guy you like love you even more, put a tiny bit of your menstrual blood into that red frosting on heart shaped cookies. Or add a pinch of Attraction Powder into the frosting.

To get those obnoxious upstairs neighbors that stomp around all day to move out and leave you in peace, make up a batch of "Aztec Chocolate Cupcakes" that are nothing more than chocolate cupcakes that you put some Hot Footing herbs into. Now... you don't want to poison them, so just use red chilis, a bit of cayenne and black pepper.

And if you really want to hurt someone (which I don't recommend unless it is a justified case in the eyes of God - like a rapist or a murderer) you can put Goofer Dust into their rum balls to leave them crawling on the ground, howling like a dog. Or you can putting live things in them. Try putting some ground up horse hair in a cookie, or spider's eggs in their vanilla creme frosting-topped cake.

A Present For You - WITH A PUNCH!
Once of the most handled items in the holidays is WRAPPING PAPER! Just turn that paper over and sprinkle your powders on the back of them, then dust off the excess, give it a snap with your finger and wrap up the present for your intended target. If they rip through it, they'll get the powder on them. If they carefully work their way through the paper in order to "save it" that's even better! They'll take the magically affected paper into their homes and keep it for quite a while.

Here are some ideas for powders to affect people:
  • Money Draw Powder - to get delinquent clients to pay their bills, or to influence your rich relatives to be a bit more generous
  • Attraction Powder - to get that cute guy or girl to pay more attention to you, or you can send out promotional gifts to prospective customers to draw them back to your business
  • Evil Begone! Powder - to affect a mate that's trying to stop a bad habit like smoking or drinking
  • Love Me NOW! Powder - to make someone fall in love with you (great when wrapping up romantic gifts like a box of truffles)
  • Success and Eloquence Powder - when trying to win or succeed at something (especially potential new employers)
  • Hot Foot Powder - to drive someone away, get rid of them
  • Goofer Dust - to make someone sick and curse them - only when justified in the eyes of God (like a murderer, child molester or rapist)

Holiday Ornaments to Protect and Bless Your Home
Well I can't have a holiday posting be so harsh and heavy-handed, so here are some "nicer" applications for magical products during the holidays.

A wreath was originally a protective emblem that was placed on the door to keep death away from the house. You can still use a wreath in the same way, with a few hoodoo twists. You can make an all-pine wreath our of trimmings that you can get for free from the local Christmas tree lot to keep ghosts and unwanted entities away. Or, try hanging spices like bundles of cinnamon, whole nutmegs and oranges on the wreath to attract wealth into the home. Another idea is to weave in some Devil's Shoestrings and branches of bay leaves into the wreath to make it a powerful protective amulet. Finish it by dressing the back of the wreath with some Fiery Wall of Protection Oil and there you have it - a powerful protective amulet for the home that can also double as a prosperity-drawing spell.

Ornaments that you hang on the tree can be dabbed with a little Blessing Oil to bring blessings in the year to come. You could do this with any of the many condition oils that are available. Some good options would be Money Draw Oil, Attraction Oil, Holy Oil, Blessing Oil, Fast Luck Oil, True Love Oil, etc. Use your imagination - you can even use color symbolism in your selection of ornaments to amplify your spell working.


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bathmate said...

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i like your posting ,this is the better blog.


Anonymous said...

Hi Dr. E.,

Ohhh, very clever!

mcmlxix said...

It's not just the cards you send out. It's also the cards that you receive. They usually contain a signature written by their hand in ink.

Last December I received a Holiday card from my CTO that contains his signature and those of all of his directs which includes my boss.

Boss fix!

Ericka said...

Brilliant! Can you do this with presents, too? Particularly the "implied" obligatory ones? Nothing nasty, mind you. Just wondering. Thanks!